Calm Before the Storm

My god it's cold here. I thought I was through with Blacksburg winters. While the actual temperature hasn't been exceedingly low (mid thirties to low forties) there's more humidity than I'm accustomed to. It's the kind of cold that penetrates any area that isn't being blasted by a heater and makes you dread getting out of the shower; once you throw wind into the mix, it can be pretty brutal. Besides showering, the only other time that I feel somewhat warm is when I'm out running. I haven't had much to do while I wait for school to begin so running has become my attempt at creating a routine for myself. I've been able to carve out a route which, due to living in an urban area, hasn't been the easiest task. My route takes me behind my building and down a path that goes around one of the mini karst mountains (these erupt sporadically throughout the city), past a Buddhist temple, through a small street market, up a gravel path that becomes a sort of construction zone, and loops back to the main road which takes me back to CLI. The distance is about two miles and the amount of loops I do depends on how I'm feeling that day. Running here doesn't seem to be as popular a form of exercise as it is in the U.S. The exercises I see people doing range from simple stretching to Tai Chi to chinese yo yo-ing to the man I saw last summer who decided to exercise his vocal cords by standing in the middle of a soccer field, spreading his arms and yelling at the top of his lungs at 8 AM. Craziness. The market is always the most interesting stretch on my route. I get the

part of my route

sense that A) they don't get many runners coming through and B) they haven't seen many people who look like me. My legs don't get very cold when I'm running so usually I'm wearing shorts when I come barreling through which, combined with my whiteness, creates quite a spectacle for these people. I see a lot of them nudging their friends and pointing at me as if to say "What the hell is that strange looking person doing?" While others look as though they can't comprehend what they're seeing.

Spring Festival is more or less over so more stores and restaurants are now open as the city seems to be getting back into the normal swing of things. I'm wrapping up my second week here and I've started to compile a list of go to food establishments. These places range from sit-down restaurants to street vendors. The process of finding these places has been largely trial and error, and there have certainly been some errors. The health codes here are not as strict as in the U.S. so I've found that it's best not to think about what health violations are occuring in the kitchen where my food is being made. The other day I found a small restaurant near my building that I enjoyed, however, upon leaving I noticed a sign with a large letter C on the wall and realized that that was the health rating. I would've been grossed out but that restaurant wasn't even close to the dirtiest place I've eaten. Many places don't even have health ratings. Good thing I packed a lot of Tums. Running isn't the only time where I get a lot of stares. Seeing a waiguoren (foreigner) eating at a local Guilin spot also seems to be pretty amusing to the people around here. I normally go to lunch alone so I've had people come sit at my table and try to speak to me in English, to which I'll do my best to respond in Chinese. I've had others simply stare at me and smile without making any attempt at subtlety. The other day I had an old man and woman stand next to where I was sitting and watch me eat, while conversing with each other in the local Guilin dialect and laughing with each successful bite I took. All of the attention I've been getting is mostly borne out of curiosity and is always non-threatening, so I don't mind it and I do my best to smile and acknowledge them. It's also been a good way to practice Chinese.

The restaurant health rating. I love the emoticon.

I'm starting to become more and more convinced that chopsticks are just one big practical joke that Asians play on outsiders. It's not as though these people have never heard of a fork before (at least spoons are used here). I just think the sight of a foreigner struggling to eat food that is placed right in front of them is a joke that never gets old. I've spent a decent amount of time in this part of the world throughout my life so I've more or less gotten it down, but it hasn't been easy (try eating rice with chopsticks) and I still struggle every now and then (always to the amusement of whoever is eating with me or nearby). When I first taught myself how to use chopsticks I always held them with my thumb, ring, and middle finger, until one day I was informed that that was not the proper way to hold them. Furthermore, I learned that if your index finger wasn't holding the chopsticks and was pointing at someone who you are eating with, that it is a sign of disrespect to some people. I then had to teach myself all over again how to hold them. I personally think that they just saw a foreigner who was getting too comfortable and decided to ruffle my feathers a bit. I must say though, I do respect their dedication to the chopstick as a utensil, not because I think it's some cool cultural norm that has endured through the years, but rather that it is a subtle, yet effective, way to prevent too many westerners from infiltrating their country, especially Americans. If you're looking to protect a native population from American influence there's no need to waste time making immigration harder, simply make eating harder. Americans will be more distressed than Tobias Funke taking a shower.

The 3rd and 4th characters are gou and rou which mean dog meat.
I haven't eaten here...yet

Aside from my food and exercise adventures there hasn't been much to report. I've gotten pretty bored at times but something tells me in a few weeks I will be looking back on this time with nostalgia. On Monday I will enter a room with about 30 second grade students and attempt to teach them English. Something I anticipate will require more patience than I've ever needed before.

Oh yea and I saw a guy riding down the road today on a scooter with a crate of roasted dog carcasses attached to the back...so there's that.



"Going Native" Experience of the Week
I realize that the concept of an arcade is not a distinctly Asian creation, however, going to an arcade in China is. Due to my prior experiences in Guilin and Taiwan, I was already aware that the video gaming scene in Asia was on a different level than back home. Still, despite being armed with this knowledge, something definitely gets lost in translation when you actually experience it firsthand. It was the weekend and some friends and I were looking for a way to kill a few hours before heading out to the bars. One of the girls in the group suggested that going to an arcade would be a good way to accomplish that, we all agreed. The entrance to the place was a nondescript, descending staircase; however, as we walked further down, there was a blue glow that continued to get brighter and music that continued to get louder. When we reached the bottom I couldn't tell if I was at a rave or an arcade. Blue lights were flashing all around me and the combination of the music and sound effects from the games was loud enough to where you had to shout at the person next to you. As far as games go they had everything: driving games, shooting games, basketball games, fighting games, rock band, trivia, item grabs, some type of rhythmic gong-hitting game, and some game in the back that combines virtual fishing, gambling, and repeatedly pushing some green button. That final game looked pretty stressful and all of the tables were under a large cloud of smoke that came from the participants sucking down cigarettes at a pace that can only be described as lethal. We all bought tokens and off we went. I didn't win anything and I left with the group an hour and a half later with fried retinas and ringing ears, it was pretty fun though.


Mandarin Improvement Sign
Playing Chinese drinking games. It's amazing how much your confidence level increases after a few drinks. I should knock a few back before school (kidding mom).

Funny Sign of the Week
Again from the archives:

Fancy way of saying overpriced airport retail store

Reason Why I Like This Place
The eggplant here is the best I've ever had. It makes me actually want to eat vegetables because I enjoy them, rather than feeling obligated to put something green next to a 16 oz steak. Living here is definitely going to improve my spicy food game as well.



Random Tangent

^Bum

The Indiana Pacers have been my favorite NBA team since I was in kindergarten. It's the only professional American sports team that I did not inherit from my dad; coincidentally, it's the only professional American sports team I root for that is actually good (what else did you dupe me into Dad?). Since the Washington Redskins, Seattle Mariners, Washington Capitals, Virginia Tech Football/Basketball, and even Manchester United this year are more or less crap, it has been very exciting to watch this current NBA season, and witness the team I root for become arguably the best in the league. With the emergence of Paul George combined with a revitalized bench, one of the best defenses in recent history, and an especially weak eastern conference, it's been pretty smooth sailing for the Pacers heading into the All-Star break. I am concerned, however, with their recent signing of Andrew Bynum. Even back when he was on the Lakers he was one of my least favorite players in the league. He's an entitled, locker room cancer who has left a trail of dysfunction in his wake (more here). He clearly doesn't care enough about basketball any more  to improve and is simply hanging on to collect a few more paychecks. Although far be it from me to question the methods of GM Larry Bird. He's the only person to ever be the MVP as a player and go on to become coach and GM of the year. He's basically made the sport of basketball his bitch. That being said, a trend that I've noticed with people who have experienced that kind of success, is that they begin to get too cute and outsmart themselves because they think they can succeed with players that "lesser" people have failed with (Patriots/Tim Tebow and Albert Haynesworth, Lakers/Kwame Brown, any team who has ever signed Mario Balotelli or Milton Bradley). This signing by the Pacers seems to be following in those footsteps. I get that it's a minimum contract and that he'll be spending the majority of the time on the bench but the guy is, by all accounts, a shithead. While things have been pretty easy so far for the Pacers there will come a point this season where they are faced with adversity and when that happens, Bynum is not somebody you want in your locker room. I'm sure that I'm probably overanalyzing all of this but as a big sports fan who has witnessed so little success in my life from any of my teams, I feel like I have a lot riding on this NBA season. Therefore, if the Pacers have their season torpedoed by some guy riddled with red flags who they willingly signed I swear I'm going to...well...I'll do something.

Leave any questions/comments/concerns below or email me. Hope everyone back home is staying safe and enjoying the snow.